(Hanan Ashrawi’s daughter telling her story)

I am Palestinian - born and raised - and my Palestinian roots go back centuries. No one can change that even if they tell me that Jerusalem , my birth place, is not Palestine , even if they tell me that Palestine doesn't exist, even if they take away all my papers and deny me entry to my own home, even if they humiliate me and take away my rights. I AM PALESTINIAN.

Name: Zeina Emile Sam'an Ashrawi; Date of Birth: July 30, 1981; Ethnicity: Arab. This is what was written on my Jerusalem ID card. An ID card to a Palestinian is much more than just a piece of paper; it is my only legal documented relationship to Palestine . Born in Jerusalem , I was given a Jerusalem ID card (the blue ID), an Israeli Travel Document and a Jordanian Passport stamped Palestinian (I have no legal rights in Jordan ). I do not have an Israeli Passport, a Palestinian Passport or an American Passport.

Here is my story:

I came to the United States as a 17 year old to finish high school in Pennsylvania and went on to college and graduate school and subsequently got married and we are currently living in Northern Virginia. I have gone home every year at least once to see my parents, my family and my friends and to renew my Travel Document as I was only able to extend its validity once a year from Washington DC . My father and I would stand in line at the Israeli Ministry of Interior in Jerusalem , along with many other Palestinians, from 4:30 in the morning to try our luck at making it through the revolving metal doors of the Ministry before noon – when the Ministry closed its doors - to try and renew the Travel Document. We did that year after year. As a people living under an occupation, being faced with constant humiliation by an occupier was the norm but we did what we had to do to insure our identity was not stolen from us.

In August of 2007 I went to the Israeli Embassy in Washington DC to try and extend my travel document and get the usual "Returning Resident" VISA that the Israelis issue to Palestinians holding an Israeli Travel Document. After watching a few Americans and others being told that their visas would be ready in a couple of weeks my turn came. I walked up to the bulletproof glass window shielding the lady working behind it and under a massive picture of the Dome of the Rock and the Walls of Jerusalem that hangs on the wall in the Israeli consulate, I handed her my papers through a little slot at the bottom of the window.

"Shalom" she said with a smile. "Hi" I responded, apprehensive and scared. As soon as she saw my Travel Document her demeanor immediately changed. The smile was no longer there and there was very little small talk between us, as usual. After sifting through the paperwork I gave her she said: "where is your American Passport?" I explained to her that I did not have one and that my only Travel Document is the one she has in her hands. She was quiet for a few seconds and then said: "you don't have an American Passport?" suspicious that I was hiding information from her. "No!" I said. She was quiet for a little longer and then said: "Well, I am not sure we'll be able to extend your Travel Document." I felt the blood rushing to my head as this is my only means to get home! I asked her what she meant by that and she went on to tell me that since I had been living in the US and because I had a Green Card they would not extend my Travel Document.

After taking a deep breath to try and control my temper I explained to her that a Green Card is not a Passport and I cannot use it to travel outside the US. My voice was shaky and I was getting more and more upset (and a mini shouting match ensued) so I asked her to explain to me what I needed to do. She told me to leave my paperwork and we would see what happens.

A couple of weeks later I received a phone call from the lady telling me that she was able to extended my Travel Document but I would no longer be getting the "Returning Resident" VISA. Instead, I was given a 3 month tourist VISA. Initially I was happy to hear that the Travel Document was extended but then I realized that she said "tourist VISA". Why am I getting a tourist VISA to go home? Not wanting to argue with her about the 3 month VISA at the time so as not to jeopardize the extension of my Travel Document, I simply put that bit of information on the back burner and went on to explain to her that I wasn't going home in the next 3 months. She instructed me to come back and apply for another VISA when I did intend on going. She didn't add much and just told me that it was ready for pick-up. So I went to the Embassy and got my Travel Document and the tourist VISA that was stamped in it.

My husband, my son and I were planning on going home to Palestine this summer. So a month before we were set to leave (July 8, 2008) I went to the Israeli Embassy in Washington DC, papers in hand, to ask 2 for a VISA to go home. I, again, stood in line and watched others get VISAs to go to my home. When my turn came I walked up to the window; "Shalom" she said with a smile on her face, "Hi" I replied. I slipped the paperwork in the little slot under the bulletproof glass and waited for the usual reaction. I told her that I needed a returning resident VISA to go home. She took the paperwork and I gave her a check for the amount she requested and left the Embassy without incident.

A few days ago I got a phone call from Dina at the Israeli Embassy telling me that she needed the expiration date of my Jordanian Passport and my Green Card. I had given them all the paperwork they needed time and time again and I thought it was a good way on their part to waste time so that I didn't get my VISA in time. Regardless, I called over and over again only to get their voice mail. I left a message with the information they needed but kept called every 10 minutes hoping to speak to someone to make sure that they received the information in an effort to expedite the tedious process. I finally got a hold of someone. I told her that I wanted to make sure they received the information I left on their voice mail and that I wanted to make sure that my paperwork was in order. She said, after consulting with someone in the background (I assume it was Dina), that I needed to fax copies of both my Jordanian Passport and my Green Card and that giving them the information over the phone wasn't acceptable. So I immediately made copies and faxed them to Dina. A few hours later my cell phone rang. "Zeina?" she said. "Yes" I replied, knowing exactly who it was and immediately asked her if she received the fax I sent. She said: "ehhh, I was not looking at your file when you called earlier but your Visa was denied and your ID and Travel Document are no longer valid." "Excuse me?" I said in disbelief. "Sorry, I cannot give you a visa and your ID and Travel Document are no longer valid. This decision came from Israel not from me."

I cannot describe the feeling I got in the pit of my stomach. "Why?" I asked and Dina went on to tell me that it was because I had a Green Card. I tried to reason with Dina and to explain to her that they could not do that as this is my only means of travel home and that I wanted to see my parents, but to no avail. Dina held her ground and told me that I wouldn't be given the VISA and then said: "Let the Americans give you a Travel Document".

I have always been a strong person and not one to show weakness but at that moment I lost all control and started crying while Dina was on the other end of the line holding my only legal documents linking me to my home. I began to plead with her to try and get the VISA and not revoke my documents; "put yourself in my shoes, what would you do? You want to go see your family and someone is telling you that you can't! What would you do? Forget that you're Israeli and that I'm Palestinian and think about this for a minute!" "Sorry" she said," I know but I can't do anything, the decision came from Israel ". I tried to explain to her over and over again that I could not travel without my Travel Document and that they could not do that - knowing that they could, and they had!

This has been happening to many Palestinians who have a Jerusalem ID card. The Israeli government has been practicing and perfecting the art of ethnic cleansing since 1948 right under the nose of the world and no one has the power or the guts to do anything about it. Where else in the world does one have to beg to go to one's own home? Where else in the world does one have to give up their identity for the sole reason of living somewhere else for a period of time? Imagine if an American living in Spain for a few years wanted to go home only to be told by the American government that their American Passport was revoked and that they wouldn't be able to come back!

If I were a Jew living anywhere around the world and had no ties to the area and had never set foot there, I would have the right to go any time I wanted and get an Israeli Passport. In fact, the Israelis encourage that. I however, am not Jewish but I was born and raised there, my parents, family and friends still live there and I cannot go back! I am neither a criminal nor a threat to one of the most powerful countries in the world, yet I am alienated and expelled from my own home.

As it stands right now, I will be unable to go home - I am one of many.

So today is the third day of Eid Al Fitr that all Muslims worldwide celebrate right after the culmination of the month of Ramadan. Not sure if it’s only me, but Ramadan seems to have lost its glory. Years ago when I was a child, people’s attitudes towards both Ramadan and Eid (festival) were way different than now. Maybe I have grown up to the extent that I see in them nothing but the mere fact that few arrogant relatives come for a visit for a couple of minutes, and everyone just sucks them up.

It has been a gloomy day in deed. Being self-centered often times, I thought that my own family never enjoyed the Ramadan that other people celebrate. But the night prior to the Eid, I went for a drive to Ramallah with my uncle and three sisters, we toured around Al Manara and the mall a bit, and felt the legendary atmosphere. People were happy. That hit me; I am not accustomed to seeing them vividly preoccupied with the preparation for the big “day.”

So I came back home and wrote to all my contacts wishing them a Happy Eid and expressed my astonishment and satisfaction to see promising smiles in the crowded streets of Ramallah. But the sad part was that I knew it was merely fleeting moments and that those smiles would be wiped off soon. Not only have my fears become true, but I was blind. Yes, blind. Or may be I just chose not to see it. May be I wanted to believe that we are actually happy.

Would I miss Ramadan? NO. Not really. It has been made hell this year.

While Ramadan is believed to be the holy month during which people get closer to Allah by fasting from food and drink all day long and focus on their faith instead, I am not pretty sure this was the case with us Palestinians. It was only a drug. Ramadan numbed our pain. We could handle both the Israeli and Palestinian political, economic, and security pressure knowing that the day of salvation was approaching; the Eid. But after the three days elapsed, then what?

Now thousands of Palestinians are waiting for the next phase. It has been seven months now. Seven months, and thousands of the PA employees have not received their salaries. And two months elapsed with millions of students deprived form their right of education. I have three sisters and two brothers who do nothing but stay at home. They have not attended school from the very beginning of this term. It is both sad and frustrating that they have to “do the time” and pay a high price.

Reading the news headlines on the first days of Eid is not healthy at all. It lessens the effect of the drug, and one starts to get sober. Sounds funny in deed, but that was the case.

Few minutes ago, I surfed some of the blogs and came across few Iraqi bloggers writing on both Ramadan and Eid. If the titles did not mention “in Iraq,” I swear I could never tell the difference between Iraq and Palestine. The hunger, misery, constant killing, and lack of security are all Palestinian symptoms.

I am speechless now; I can hardly verbalize the so many conflicting thoughts. Heaven knows how things would be like next Ramadan, but I would not speculate it already. It is not time to worry about it now, other issues are on stake; food, money, and education. Until then, there are a lot of things to sort out.

Yesterday, I realized that I believe in love at first sight. Not the romantic kind, rather the sense of connecting with another human being without ever having to say a word. Indeed, the person I was so enthralled with last night was a five-month-old girl, who smiled at me and then hid her face in shyness. Those few moments of interacting with this baby lifted my spirits, but it also made me reflect in sadness about the fact that many children in this current conflict are robbed of their joy and their childhood.

I often contemplate how mature Palestinian children seem. Sure, they play the childhood games that we all played in our day, but there is wisdom in their words that is eerily sobering. Their age defines them as children, but if you have a conversation with a Palestinian child, you will realize how much awareness she has of the world around her, of suffering in the next village, in Gaza, in Lebanon. She is a child that has empathy and understands that life, by nature, is wrought with all sorts of difficulties.

A Palestinian child knows better; life is not as it is depicted in cartoons, where those who die are miraculously resurrected not once, but several times, where injuries are healed instantaneously, where death is a joke and life is a series of slapstick moments. A Palestinian child escapes into imagination, but she is never far removed from the reality of children and adults alike being indiscriminately shot outside her window, in her classroom, at the local bakery.

Who would have thought that normal things, simply walking down the street to grab a falafel sandwich, could result in your untimely death? Perhaps the Israeli army mistook the falafel stand for a bomb-making factory, or an ammunition shop? Make no mistake about it; the Israeli military have made too many “mistakes” that there is obviously a pattern there, wouldn’t you think?

A child that is robbed of the sense of security, therefore, is a child that is mature beyond her years. She knows that the bullets and the tank shells do not discriminate. Her father can shield her from the neighbor’s vicious dog, from the crazy drivers, he will hold her hand to cross the street, but he will not be able to capture a bullet in his hand like the mythological superheroes in blockbuster movies out this summer in theatres near you. He might be able to take the bullet for her though. But once gone, who will be her protective shield against the harsh reality of life that goes on in what seems the periphery of the conflict? And who will be there to share some of her joyous milestones; graduation, marriage, the birth of a child? Hers is a joy that is always overshadowed by a greater sorrow.

Is it fair that 31 Palestinian children have died in a 31-day period? A child-a-day; is that the new Israeli army mantra? Khaled was just a one-year-old, Aya was seven, Sabreen was only three. What lost potential, what lost promise – who knows what Khaled would have grown up to be? An astronaut? A veterinarian? A philosopher? What about Aya; she could have become a fashion designer, a teacher, a mother. By what right has this promise been so violently plucked and trampled upon cruelly and without a moment’s hesitation on the part of the Israeli soldier, who heartlessly unleashed a fiery rain of bullets and shells on a neighborhood as if he is in a simulated video game and those who die are fictitious and unreal? Perhaps that is what he is made to believe, otherwise, who in clear consciousness is so willing to pull the trigger and with one spray of bullets destroy life, potential and rob joy?

If you can see the smiling face of your own child, then how do you go out and unquestioningly take the life of others? If you value life, then how do you live with the burden of knowing that you have taken it so unjustifiably? Perhaps that is your perpetual punishment; the judgment of a child scorned is the harshest of them all.

With their fishermen at risk of being shot at by the Israeli navy, Palestinians in the Gaza Strip are finding new ways to supply the blockaded territory with a staple that is in short supply.

Seafood is coming into the Mediterranean enclave through tunnels from Egypt and fish farms are starting to fill a supply gap resulting from restrictions that stop fishermen from venturing more than 3.4 miles (5.5 km) from the coast.

The emergence of new ways of supplying seafood highlights the ever deepening impact of a blockade that controls land, air and sea access to Gaza, ruled by the Hamas Islamist group.

Israel says the blockade aims to prevent Hamas, which is hostile to the Jewish state, acquiring weapons or materials that could be used for military purposes.

For the majority of Gaza's population of 1.5 million, the result has been increasingly miserable living conditions, while Hamas's grip on power since 2007 shows no sign of weakening.

The group controls the tunnelling businesses which have for more than three years been a supply route for everything from cement to electrical goods and now, fish.

Gaza's fishermen, once allowed to sail up to 12 miles from the coast, risk having their boats confiscated if they go too far out. Several have suffered bullet wounds in confrontations with Israeli patrol vessels enforcing the embargo.

The current fishing limit has been in place since January, 2009, according to the U.N. Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs.

FISH FARMS

In Rafah, at the southern tip of the Gaza Strip, a masked man emerged from the mouth of a tunnel carrying a box of fish packed in ice. Anxious not to be identified, he would not speak to the media because of the dangers associated with an increasingly risky business.

The Israeli military launches regular airstrikes on areas where it believes Hamas is using the tunnels to bring weapons into Gaza. Egypt, which has a strained relationship with Hamas and a peace treaty with Israel, is building an underground barricade on its side of the border to thwart the tunnelers.

Bringing fish through the tunnels from Egypt is not as profitable as supplying other goods, said Suleiman Itta, a fish monger who has started buying fish that come to Gaza that way.

Quality can also be a problem.

"Sometimes the fish arrives almost two-thirds fresh," he told Reuters. "We bring it from Egypt because of the lack of fish here," added the father of eight.

With their own catches becoming ever more meagre, Gaza's fishermen have found another way of bringing fish ashore. They rendezvous at sea with their Egyptian counterparts and buy from them, sometimes venturing further than allowed by Israel.

"We cross the line. Most if not all fishing boats do that, and yes, it is risky but we go to buy," fisherman Ashraf Assaeedi said.

In Beit Lahiya in the northern Gaza Strip, Zeyad Al-Attar is farming fish in tanks. "We have resorted to this kind of work because of the lethal siege. We produce 70 tonnes every six months," he said.

But restaurant owner Ahmed Abu Haseera does not buy from the farms. His clients prefer fish supplied the traditional way.

"Clients do not like it. But what can we do? Things are difficult. One day we have fish and the next we don't," he said.

Israel will free 20 Palestinian women from jail as early as Friday in exchange for a videotape from Hamas proving an Israeli soldier held in the Gaza Strip since 2006 is alive, officials on both sides said on Wednesday.

Egyptian and German mediators are continuing to work on a final deal to swap the soldier, Gilad Shalit, for hundreds of Hamas prisoners. The negotiations are part of international efforts to ease Israel's blockade of the Hamas-run Gaza Strip.

"It is important for the entire world to know that Gilad Shalit is alive and well and that Hamas is responsible for his well-being and his fate," Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said in a statement.

Shalit, now 23, was spirited into the Gaza Strip by Islamist militants who tunneled into Israel three years ago in a raid in which two Israeli soldiers and two of the attackers were killed.

An Israeli official said the handover of the 20 women and the tape should take place on Friday, at the end of a two-day period when Israeli citizens can appeal in court against their release, an Israeli official said.

He added that a German mediator had already seen the video and believed it genuinely showed Shalit during recent weeks -- and certainly after Israel's offensive in Gaza in December and January in which some 1,400 Palestinians were reported killed.

The video lasts about a minute, said a spokesman for the Popular Resistance Committees, one of the Hamas allies that took part in the raid in which Shalit was captured.

"It shows Shalit alive and moving," the spokesman, Abu Mujahed, said.

Announcement of the pending exchange was the first major sign of progress in efforts to put together a deal between Israel and Hamas Islamists.

"This is a humanitarian gesture," said an Egyptian security source close to the mediation efforts Cairo has been pursuing.

But an Israeli official cautioned that "lengthy and difficult negotiations" were still ahead before a final deal could be reached.

Public pressure has been mounting on Netanyahu to win freedom for the bespectacled soldier, who also holds French citizenship, in a deal that could involve the release of Hamas militants behind attacks that have killed Israelis.

Palestinians view brethren held in Israeli jails as heroes and a widescale release of prisoners in exchange for Shalit would be a boost for Hamas, an Islamist group opposed to peace with Israel.

Only one of the women, who was to be released along with her child, was from Gaza, Hamas officials said. The other 19 were from the Israeli-occupied West Bank, where Hamas's secular rivals from President Mahmoud Abbas's Fatah party hold sway.

Israeli officials said none of the women had been directly involved in killings and none was serving a sentence of longer than two years.

A spokesman for Hamas's armed wing, Abu Ubeida, told a news conference in Gaza that four of the women to be released were members of Hamas, while five were members of Fatah. Three more were members of Islamic Jihad and the rest from other groups.

Shalit has not been visited by the International Committee of the Red Cross and only a few letters and an audio cassette from him have been sent to his family, which has waged a vocal campaign to get him freed.

Israel holds more than 10,000 Palestinians in its jails. Hamas is negotiating for the release of hundreds of its members. (Writing by Alastair Macdonald and Jeffrey Heller, Additional reporting by Jeffrey Heller and Ari Rabinovitch in Jerusalem, Editing by Mark Trevelyan)

Explosions at two sensitive sites in the Gaza Strip [ID:nLU529969] have prompted speculation on Sunday that they were the work of al Qaeda-aligned radicals opposed to the Palestinian enclave's Islamist rulers Hamas.

Here are comments on key questions about the incidents:

WHO WAS BEHIND THE BOMBINGS?

No credible claim of responsibility has been made.

Since Hamas seized control of the Gaza Strip in June 2007 by routing secular forces loyal to Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, the Islamists have tended to blame occasional bombings and other attacks on Hamas targets on Abbas's Fatah party. This time, however, suspicion has fallen on fundamentalist Muslims, or Salafis, whose agenda of global jihad, or holy war, against the West is at odds with Hamas's nationalist goals.

Hamas forces attacked a mosque in Rafah on Aug. 14 [ID:nLF47066] after the leader of a group calling itself Jund Ansar Allah (Warriors of God) declared Islamic rule in the town on the border with Egypt. Up to 28 people, including the leader, were killed. That sparked warnings of a reaction [ID:nLI78639] and speculation that conflict with Salafis could both complicate and foster Hamas's contact with the West [ID:nLH515758].

WHO ARE THESE SALAFIS?

Click here [ID:nLH515758] for details of known groups.

Most share an agenda with al Qaeda and believe Hamas broke with Islam by taking part in the 2006 Palestinian parliamentary election -- an election which it won, sparking international sanctions. Since Hamas [ID:nLF53592] seized control of Gaza in 2007 from secular President Abbas, Salafis have criticised the Islamist movement for failing to implement Islamic law.

Though they may not have a clear hierarchical connection to al Qaeda, they admire its leaders, Osama Ben Laden and Ayman al-Zawahri. Reliable data is scant but various groups may gather hundreds of fighters, including some trained and blooded in the ranks of Hamas but now disillusioned with the ruling movement. For a full study of Salafi groups in Gaza, view this report from the International Peace Research Institute in Oslo here

WHAT MAY BE THE AIM OF THE BOMBINGS?

The attackers hit two heavily guarded Hamas security compounds, one known to include a prison. The second, a residence of President Abbas, is also believed to be used now for detentions and interrogations. If Salafis were behind the bombing, they may be showing both their capabilities and a demand for dozens of imprisoned radicals to be freed.

IS ISRAEL ALSO A TARGET OF RADICALS?

Israel has always been a target for them. The Army of Islam joined Hamas in a border raid in 2006 in which Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit was captured. Shalit is still held and is at the centre of efforts to broker a swap for hundreds of Hamas prisoners. The same group, associated with Gaza's powerful Doghmush clan, has also launched rockets into Israel and fired on troops.

Another group, the Army of the Nation or Jaish al-Ummah, has claimed several rocket attacks against Israel.

Three members of Jund Ansar Allah were killed in an attack in June on an Israeli army position on the border. Some of the attackers rode on horseback.

IS HAMAS AT RISK?

Hamas has thousands of men under arms and easily outnumbers any of these radical groups. Nonetheless, radical ideology and an ability to blend into the population make the Salafis a difficult opponent when they avoid direct confrontation.

Another degree of irritation for Hamas is the Salafis' ability to attack Israel, provoking an Israeli reaction at times when Hamas may be trying to observe a truce.

Hamas officials say they are concentrating on "re-educating" captured radicals, hoping to win them over to a brand of political Islam more in line with Hamas's own principles.

The audience in the Gaza Strip clapped and cheered as the actor delivered the movie's most memorable line – "To kill Israeli soldiers is to worship God".

Imad Aqel, which premiered at the weekend, is the first feature film produced by the Islamist Hamas movement and the title is the name of a Palestinian militant whom Israel held accountable for the deaths of 13 soldiers and settlers.

In accordance with strict Muslim tradition, men and women sat in separate sections of the theatre to view what Hamas officials termed the "Cinema of Resistance", referring to what it describes as a fight against Israeli occupation.

The movie is Hamas's latest foray into the mass media – it owns a satellite TV channel, a radio station and several newspapers.

Imad Aqel was filmed on a set built inside the former Jewish settlement of Ganei Tal in the Hamas-controlled Gaza Strip.

It depicts Hamas's founding in the 1980s, attacks Mr Aqel mounted on the Israeli military in the West Bank and Gaza Strip and the signing of the Oslo peace accord between Israel and the Palestine Liberation Organisation in 1993.

The film cost $120,000 (£70,000) and was written by Mahmoud al-Zahar, a senior leader of Hamas, which the West regards as a terrorist group and shuns because of its refusal to renounce violence, recognise Israel and accept existing interim peace deals.

Mr Aqel was killed at the age of 22 by Israeli soldiers who surrounded his hideout in Gaza in 1993.

Four of the actors in the film, which took several months to make, were later killed in the 22-day offensive Israel launched in the Gaza Strip last December with the declared aim of halting cross-border rocket attacks by Palestinian militants.

Majed Jendeya, the movie's German-trained director, said he hoped to screen the film at the Cannes film festival in France.