The wedding was held in Jericho, in an outdoor resort on a warm August evening. The couple, young, vivacious and eager to start their lives, both hail from Jerusalem, the troubled city which Palestinians consider their capital.

Jericho is located in the West Bank, separated from Jerusalem by Israeli military checkpoints that discriminate between the color of your ID. Blue enters the holy city, green does not. This complex and discriminatory system of identification cards is part of Israel’s apartheid system that separates, oppresses and divides Palestinians from one another.

Some less educated on the situation in Palestine may ask, why would two families, both from the same city, hold their wedding in another city some 37 kilometers away, which requires most of the invitees to cross at least one Israeli checkpoint to reach the venue. Good question, for the unversed. If you are Palestinian, the answer is clear. It is because while anyone with a blue Jerusalem ID can attend a wedding in the city, friends and family from the West Bank cannot, barred entry by the system of checkpoints, settler bypass roads and “ID racism” Israel has firmly put in place.

In the other direction, things go more smoothly. That is, Jerusalem residents ‘are allowed” to cross into the West Bank to hold weddings so their green ID friends and family can attend. This is more of a hassle for them, of course, given the uncertainty of the status of checkpoints (oftentimes they are backed up with traffic or closed altogether at the whim of the Israeli army). Nonetheless, in the end, a wedding is about celebrating with those we love, so the rewards outweigh the risks, even in this case.

On the day of Jibreel and Lara’s wedding, the guests were incessantly checking the multiple apps and social media groups designed to inform travelers of the status of roads between Palestinian towns and cities. This information would determine what time they should venture from their homes to reach the wedding venue, or in the worst case, cancel going if checkpoints in their area were closed. Sometimes, it is not even a checkpoint that might discourage you from leaving your house, but vigilante settlers who have unilaterally closed the road, harassing and throwing stones at Palestinian vehicles. Sometimes, they are armed and take fire at any unfortunate Palestinian in their crosshairs. It is safe to say, every occasion, every journey in Palestine, is a roll of the dice. You never know what you are going to get.

Things were not always that bad, according to the mother of the groom, “Um Jibril”. Herself a resident of the West Bank city of Bethlehem, she married a man from Jerusalem too and like her son, she also had her wedding on the other side of Israel’s unilaterally-drawn Jerusalem municipal borders. “Yes, we had our wedding in Bethlehem because my family is from there, but it was pretty easy. The checkpoints were not as strict as they are now.”

Unfortunately, Palestinians often take the ‘lesser of two evils’ as normal. While there is nothing normal about a military occupation that has gone on for almost 60 years in the West Bank, Gaza Strip and East Jerusalem, it is not unusual for Palestinians to compare the situation before October 7, 2023 to what they are experiencing now.

Um Jibril has even more reasons for why weddings for Jerusalemites are held in the West Bank, even when bride and groom are both from the city, besides having to navigate Israeli checkpoints. “In Jerusalem, there are not many wedding halls and they are much more expensive, so most people opt for a venue in the West Bank.”

This is not an isolated opinion among Palestinians in Jerusalem. The deteriorating economic situation is another casualty of Israel’s oppressive apartheid regime. Jobs are scarce for young Palestinians, exacerbated by the geographical divisions Israel imposes on Palestinian areas, which means movement is cumbersome, if not impossible and jobs increasingly fewer and far between.

Nevertheless, Palestinians will always celebrate the union of two souls. Weddings are celebrated, often for days, including the “henna”, which pays homage to Palestinian tradition and culture. The evening revolves around the bride, who is decked out in traditional Palestinian dress and jewelry, her hands painted with henna, to the tune of beautiful, sometimes sad songs bidding her farewell as she leaves her father’s house to that of her husband’s. It is more of a symbolic event these days, since Palestinian women today are not confined to traditional roles anymore, but the celebration has remained intact, as a nod to heritage and pride in Palestinian culture.

Um Jibril, along with every Palestinian living under Israeli military rule, had hoped that almost 30 years since her own wedding, things would have changed for the better. While that hope still stubbornly remains alive in all Palestinians, the reality has remained the same. As long as Israel maintains it chokehold on the Palestinians, freedom remains a dream deferred but never forgotten.